Hangover...

At my door the leaves are falling
A cold wild wind will come
Sweethearts walk by together
And I still miss someone..

I go out on a party
And look for a little fun
But I find a darkened corner
'Cause I still miss someone..

Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes
I see them every where
I miss those arms that held me
When all the love was there..

I wonder if he's sorry
For leavin' what we'd begun
There's someone for me somewhere
And I still miss someone..

and i still miss someone...

This is to something I haven't yet been able to put to words, or speak out to someone. And to a friend who just had a heartbreak.

It's been an year...

...And the day has come again. Its one of those things that, of late, I have awaited the least. And yet, its here again..with all its hues of blight. Its again that I wished to wake up a little late, and cry a bit more into the midnight. To drive recklessly down the streets, oblivious of what may happen, or is yet to happen. And search for a blue under the city's sky which always seems somewhat incomplete without him. The blue that is reminiscent of thousands of tears and tussels, panics and promises. And the blue furry overcoat that he wished to buy for his twins. Its again, yet again, that I clawed my fists to fight a few tears back. And wished learning to play the flute to allure someone to stay back a few more moments. I wished in the least to do this to him today. But yet again, I had to bid him farewell with another counterfeit smiling face. It haunts me to see the innocent smile on his face. For the times I've wronged him, and ruthlessly stained that innate innocence. And on the way to the victory of my fruitless pride, losing the piece of himself he asked me to secure. God, it kills me like anything. And how hopelessly I crave to beg him on my knees..for a single moment of atonement. Maybe he'll never ask for an apology..And may lend his hand to guide me through this redemption. Maybe I'll never know how he felt when the last bend made us go out of sight..Or what he had to say apart from wiping my tears. Maybe I'll never know how many nights I've made him cry..And how long. Maybe I'll never know him crying..Or he'll never show anything but a smile. But it's been an year. An year less than the years we're destined to stay apart. And an year towards the future we have painted together. And yet, another year, of what makes you feel proud of. I'll miss him. His innocent smiles. His earnest attempts to make me smile some more. And the image of my helpless smiles in his eyes. For he has indeed being the one, who has brought about the eternal spring in my life..painted my days green and nights scarlet, like the imminent rains resting on the evening sky..and fabricated the abstract essence of happiness somewhere between the troughs and crests of my life.

An Evanescent Evening..

The rain had made them wait.
Whilst they wished to play it again..
In the rain.

Monsoon deluded them.
But they had more,
to give in to the game..
Live yet another elusive evening
And quench a few promises.

He had his trousers rolled up
She, her fluid tresses free
With their feet treading quietly
To the surreal depths of the sea..

They had it on their mind
The promise of the game..
on another murky evening
on some dusty, familiar lane..
where withered bits of maples
held it by the hand
Heralding the rain..
And the ivy leaves camouflaged
Their clandestine game.

They had it on their mind
The blurred remnants of an evening
That got lost on the way..
Behind the translucent veil of the feeling
That hollowed them astray.

And the shadows that swirled around them
Swabbing the ecstasy out of the rain
With a trail of the pureed joy ..
Honeycombed by the peccadillo
To love and love again..

And left the children wonder at
How tethers break..and dreams cease,
For who tore their bond apart..
And hurled onto the lap of abyss
From the evening, From the feeling
From the game of bliss and pain
Were it the forlorn rain-soaked shadows?
Or the illusory shadow-soaked rain?

The Twelfth Night..

I really don't know what has been so special about the rains these days. I haven't been able to talk to the rain for quite some time now on account of some nerve-wrecking exam preparations, but nevertheless could I feel myself listening to it every night. And it was the twelfth night of the fifth month of the ongoing year that I waited for hours on end for it, but nevertheless did it betray me, like it does on the hot summer afternoons. I was away from my bedroom and without my pillow to help me cry out the entire night, for we stayed back at my uncle's place on account of the elections. And it was 2 o' clock in the midnight that I found myself insomniac, sitting beside someone else's window and looking out into the night through a not-so-familiar wind, with a void mind somehow brimming with a lot of things to say.....about how some paths had intersected, about the divinity in them and how life deserved to have been beyond it. For it was just a couple of years back that I spent my happiest night on the twelfth night of the fifth month of 2007.

It brought back those tears which I had not expected that night, and the eerie feeling that quite often makes me beg before the rain to come and cover up the whole of my existence in the eddy currents of its fearful and loathsome vigour.

And reminded me the moment back home, when on the terrace with my mother under the full moon-light, I saw her eyes getting filled up reminiscing some distant, unfulfilled, unforgettable memories while musing on the lines...

"Shokhi bhalobasha kare koy...
Shey ki keboli jatonamoy..."

Hey Nuton..

Jaha kichu tumi borshile aji

Hey kobi! Mor ei bonge..
Bokkhe niye kate prato diba nishi
Tobo odhora ashish shonge..

Taale shure gaane chhonde tobo
Hoy banglar probhat nobo nobo
Praner kotha kaane kobo kobo,
Bhashibe ramdhonu ronge..

Ashiyachho grishho dwiprohore
Hoyia bohurupi himel haowa..
Borshar ghono megher araale
Sharod-obhimukhe dhaowa..

Shopiyachi tobo choron tole
Pujiya tobo she naam
Hey kobi aji diboshe tomare
Shohosro koti pronam..

P.S.:-This was done with the purpose of paying a miniscule homage to the man who has shaped our lives. Very very random..

Broken..

A new dawn battered

Some old nights shattered

Broken like a dream
Broken like the dawn

Forlorn hopes shiver
Wander by the river

Cast out as cursed
Vanquished as a pawn

A deadly venom's kiss
A life is here to cease

Effused through a fissure
Buried in ashes, brown

Doom climbs the door
Spills on the floor

Struggling to breathe
In the sea of despair, drown

But I'll wait for you
As the ship's lonesome crew

For lives, through and through
Till I win my last fight

For that lucid beam hued blue
For the song I'll sing to you

For you'll close my eyes
After I live my last night.

The Downpour...

Amidst the crossroads of memory lane
I know I've lost, and there's nothing to gain

Embroiling me further in the fangs of a bane
I watch my hopes going to vain

I know my tears you'll disdain
But before you, I haven't learnt to feign

Tied up in times' merciless chain
I lay on the broken pieces of my window pane

Yes, I can take all the pain
For another walk with you under the heaviest rain...