Silhouettes...

If I were beauty, I'd be- Love
If I were a book, I'd be- The Old Testament
If I were a season, I'd be- Winter
If I were an feeling, I'd be- Repentance
If I were a cosmic element, I'd be- Saturn
If I were an invention, I'd be- The invention of Light
If I were a time, I'd be- The last hour of life
If I were an age, I'd be- 40, a viable die-able age
If I were a piece of history, I'd be- The fall of Rome
If I were a date, I'd be- The 1st of May
If I were a subject in school, I'd be- History
If I were a river, I'd be- Euphrates
If I were a sight, I'd be- The eyes of Proserpine
If I were a month, I'd be- December
If I were a word, I would be- Sorry
If I were a game, I'd be- Dart
If I were a start, I'd be- The advent of free-economy
If I were an end, I'd be- The end of superpowers
If I were a form of art, I'd be- Murals
If I were a personality, I'd be- Charlie Chaplin
If I were a habit, I'd be- Covering the mouth while a cough
If I were a fruit, I'd be- Satan's apple
If I were an animal, I'd be- Horse
If i were a leaf, i'd be- A fallen Maple
If I were a tree, I'd be- An old Willow
If I were a support, I'd be- An old man's stick
If I were a help, I'd be- A baby's walker
If I were a belonging, I'd be- A canvas
If I were a confusion, I'd be- Parallax
If I were a miracle, I'd be- The Divine Proportion
If I were a colour, I'd be- Transparent white
If I were an addiction, I'd be- Wine
If I were a monument, I'd be- The Roman Colosseum
If I were a tool, I'd be- The sculptor's chisel
If I were a distance, I'd be- that between the eyes and the mouth
If I were an expression, I'd be- The MonaLisa smile
If I were a body part, I'd be- The hamstrings
If I were a mountain, I'd be- The Alps
If I were a piece of land, I'd be- The Kolkata Maidan
If I were an essence, I'd be- The smell of a new painting
If I were a building, I'd be- The Louvre Museum
If I were a play, I'd be- Troilus and Cressida
If I were an author, I'd be- Oscar Wilde
If I were a clause, I'd be- Punishment to male gaze
If I were an amendment, I'd be- Change in perspective
If I were a creation, I'd be- Madonna of the Rocks
If I were a movie, I'd be- Hamlet
If I were a character, I'd be- Liz Taylor in Cleopatra
If I were a wonder, I'd be- The Hanging gardens of Babylon
If I were an pain, I'd be- The pain to bow down
If I were a part of the face,I'd be- An eyelash
If I were an instrument, I'd be- Piano
If I were an inspiration, I'd be- A Candle in the Wind
If I were an element, I'd be- Neon
If I were a song, I'd be- Sacrifice
If I were a place, I'd be- Oblivion
If I were an achievement, it would be- Being human
If I were a promise, I'd be- A true one.

Being insane...

Its time again, I suppose, to wander back to old times. And as you rightly guessed...I AM getting nostalgic again. But I can rest assure....to whom it may concern....that this one isn't going to be another account of some morbid yesteryear moments as it has been a number of times so long. For, this diversion from my usual and known-self is due to the sheer optimism presently administering my days. And this really reminds me to laugh out loud in memory of some hilarious incident which happened sometime back in my school days.

We were currently at the 8th or 9th standard and it was a physical training class then, which we mostly, if not always, used to spend giggling and chit-chatting among ourselves...without performing the least hint of any sort of physical training in the literal sense. Hence it was just another so-called-P.T. period to sprawl and laze in an effort to spend the next thirty minutes. But for some forgotten reason, I was too engrossed in running around hither and tither that day and was quite surprisingly on an adventuring spree...unlike my usual lazy self. Now adventure usually referred to hide-an-seek in our case (yes,we were in class 9 then!) , that too specially in a very unconventional place, for a tinge of adventure again. That "special" place had been a hideously bushy area, approximately two-feet wide and about seven yards long, terribly dirty with dense undergrowth, banana trees fouled with betel-leaf spits (yak!), bird droppings, sewage wastes and dung, between the row of darwan's houses and the school boundary just behind. That place used to be one-of-my hot favourites since I loved to and could spend hours running from the basketball ground to that foul place behind the houses, step over all those rubbish and proceed towards a locked gate on the other side of the ground, climb it up and jump onto the basketball ground only to run back and repeat the feat again.

Now that day we were having our regular P.T. class feats, when there came along a tall, belly-protruded old man, clad in pure white dhoti-kurta and carrying a stick, his trademark attire he seemed to have worn all my 13 years in school. We supposed him to be some bigwig of the school's trusty and our awe knew no bounds as we saw him proceeding towards our secret and treasured hide-out between the bushes. I was the first to give out a loud giggle, as I assumed him to share the same attraction for that place like us, and pictured him trying to cross over the locked gate, making a total mess of his dhoti and himself. Not being able to keep myself from witnessing such hilarious incidents, I ran right after him to observe his feat, not paying heed to my friends who were desperately trying to call me back. In fact it surprised me to see their reluctance in missing out such an experience. And as you might have guessed, to my utter dismay, as I peeped in to have a sneak-peek of his activities, I saw that rogue dirtying our hideout ever more, by disposing his loo out there. I was horrified to realise myself watching that man coolly 'performing his feat' in his peaceful 'lavatory' without the slightest hint of someone watching him with horrified eyes, as if he had suddenly turned a monster. I ran from that place as fast as I could, some faint sounds of laughter reaching my eardrums...as I felt too ashamed of not having understood his mission beforehand as my friends did...and resolved not to step into that once-beloved place ever, ever again.

Growth curves...

I'm entirely and outright a jobless person as of now...and possibly that's why such strange things are cropping up in my cerebral lump and crowding all at a time. Just last night I dreamt about something quite weird; not really absurd,but weird enough to be the substance of a dream...all owing to the utterly vague and pointless thoughts taking advantage of my idle mind. I may well frame the name of my book as "Worhless Thoughts Of A Redundant Mind" , quite understandably, its contents not being taken into consideration.

All right, so returning to my inane dream...I guess for all those faces reading this, I can afford to bring across a smile out of the realisation of the unfathomable stupidity ruling me now. As a matter of fact, last night I dreamt about my purse(Ya,again as a matter of fact...yes I AM weird). Its the same old, bulky off-white purse I bought from shopper's stop and the one I used to hate...that has been claiming my dreams now. I remember how I deadly wished to throw it when every time I had to take it out of the bag for punching the smart card, being already late to college...and had a hard time gripping it within my little palm for paying the auto fare while sitting in the front right vulnerable seat of the auto-rickshaw. I wished to tear it down to pieces of no use...As it is it seemed quite cumbersome to carry all the time. So this quite-obviously-unawaited dream surprised even myself to no end, but there's a bit of history behind it which may well serve to explain this contradiction. ..

It was just last weekend that mom decided to acquire the shopper's stop first citizen membership card and henceforth designated me as the associate card-bearer. And due to fathomable reasons, chose me to keep both the cards in my purse...since she might not be able, or interested, to have access to the shop as frequently as I do. Now that's it...that's all of the history behind my dream. But mom's decision was influential enough to give me a mental push towards adulthood, my new unseen craze after being eighteen. My concious mind prided itself with the thought of acquiring a card only meant for those 18 years and up...having conferred with the first taste of being adult, while the subconcious psyche had already started picturing the metamorphosized facade of an already hefty purse. I dreamt of my purse having become bulkier, brimming and bursting out of its contents, some indespensable requisites of a modern century grown-up woman. It filled me with a sense of pride rummaging through the numerous pockets of my purse containing my college ID-card, cyber card, driving license, debit card, BCL membership card and citizenship cards of some top shopping outlets of the city. It seemed to overflow with all that it housed inside and for the first time I felt blessed to possess something such cumbersome. Not taking into account the style and sophistication quotient, it was a wholly novel feeling to sense myself growing up...which rightly geared me to admire and gratify my hideous-turned-delightful possession, coz all that matters at the end of the day has to be my thing's utility. And, not to forget, how strong a catalysing effect it can exert on my growth and me having its timely realisation.

So cruel...So far

Its all born from the sense of disgust this cursed year has burdened upon me now.I tried my best to accept it with a smile...bt regrettably everything has gone to vain.

Beginning like all the other seventeen years I have survived, I won't believe it to be my fault to think this one belong to the same sort. Again a pawn of destiny.....I feel cheated over and over my this deceptive first-sight impression.Is it such ruthless a mistake to pay heed to the first call of intuition? I earnestly passed the days so far...in the elusive search of optimism. But darkness hovered over and over.Yet again, many a times, I ran to get blinded by the gloomy fate brought for me by this year. But every time hit upon a solid, promising rock..clutch onto it hard..and hopscotch through the odds with the hope of retreiving back with some flying colours.

I fail to behold,that colours have left me quite long ago...leaving some long meticulously-nursed memories awashed in the colours of despair and gloom. I knew I've been fooled again; for I've only learnt to birth them, rear them up...and never did I harness the zeal to pull them off before the world, eagerly waiting to pull me down again...render false consolations...and again get me bathed all over in the colours of defeat...in black and white.

The Way You Look Tonight...

There was a time...I was everything and nothing all in one
When you found me,
I was feeling like a cloud across the sun...
I need to tell you,
How you light up every second of the day...
But in the moonlight,
You just shine like a beacon on the bay...
And I can't explain..
But it's something about the way you look tonight...
It takes my breath away
It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside.
And I can't describe...
But it's something about the way you look tonight.
With a smile..You pull the deepest secrets from my heart
In all honesty
I'm speechless...and I don't know where to start
But its something about the way you look tonight...
It takes my breath away
And its a feeling deep inside...
That I can't describe.


P.S.-This is my first post which is not an original work of mine.I usually don't prefer this...but coudn't resist myself from dedicating this incredible song to someone.Its not here just for being a favourite...its meant for a very special person in my life.

Sans YOU...

I know its hard to bear the heat...

But monsoon won't come this time

Choose your path, leaving the one I tread...

For its foolish to walk my line.

Dont worry about here, ever henceforth...

I'll be fine as being lovelorn.

Spare but this night from thy memories...

I won't cry from tomorrow morn.

Never again empathize those futile tears

Which'll flow....and've always flown

I don't need to hold your finger anymore...

I have learnt to walk on my own.

.Full Stop.

I saw those corridors closing on me
Future and past-splitting me apart,
As I got vanquished,battling with time...
And the hour took its due stride.
Banishing me with all its might
From my nest of memories-unmatched,untouched
Making me a part of it all...
Never Again,Never Anymore.
Snatching those away from my lap,
Thousands of memories....given shape through ages
And bolting them behind those doors of steel.
All by themselves-bereft and forlorn.
The door severed the bond between us
I stared at it through countless years
For my memories lie beyond it,locked up...
None to protect,None to care.
It was just then that I heard a footstep...
A voice,a clap,a cheer,a laugh
Then two,then three...then how many more
From behind the door,my haven of love..
I do not belong to that place anymore
For new breaths have ousted us
To take care of some timeless memories,
And build on them-unmatched,untouched.
That was the message from a demure God
To evict the past and pave way for 'now'
And I marooned the place with my tuft of memories
For it was my turn to put a Full Stop.